Mark and Lisa, a staff member at his Martial Arts School, shares a story about a tragedy that hit Lisa two years ago.
Lisa talks about the celebration of life of her son, Leo, and how she remembered the happy times about his life.
Today’s episode is about the two different but powerful meanings for Strength Through the Struggle that you can use in your life. Let’s get right to it.
Hello everybody! Thanks for taking the time to tune in and listen to this episode. I really appreciate your time and energy. While this episode isn’t specifically about martial arts I’m going to use them as an example.
When I came up with the name for this podcast it was the result of wanting to be truthful about life. At least my experience with life. And what I’ve learned about it from my childhood, into the military and as a career martial artist and student of life.
I wanted people who were looking for solutions to life’s challenges to be able to find honest answers, inspiration, and motivation.
The first thing that STTS means to me is that we all actually do have the Strength to get through any Struggle that crosses our path in life. Those can be struggles that were thrust upon us through no doing of our own as well as the challenges we create with our choices. You know what I mean, problems of our own creation.
There have been a few times in my life that I didn’t know if I had the strength to do what needed to be done when confronted with a problem in my life. One of those times was when I found out I was going to be a father.
My own internal dialogue was very negative concerning how I saw myself. I couldn’t imagine anything good could come from me. More specifically, my seed. I grew up with so many experiences in childhood that I wasn’t worthy of anything good or that anything good could come from me that I spent my adult life trying not to become a father.
That wasn’t the truth but it was what I believed. And we tend to behave in alignment with what we believe regardless of whether the belief is true or not.
I ended up trying to be the best father I could and overall, I’ve done a fair job of it. Not perfect by any means but pretty good most days. And that is with the added challenges of raising a child with multiple disabilities.
Even though I didn’t believe it the start, I had the strength to do it. The truth was, I had the Strength to get Through the Struggle the whole time.
I bet you can think of times in your own life where this has been true for you. It could be anything. The ending of a relationship. Getting through school or going on and getting a degree in college. What about sickness or injury? The death of a loved one in your life? A financial crisis. The loss of a job. What about that choice that you made that brought on the difficulty in your life that you didn’t think you could overcome or get through.
You see. You had it in you the whole time. You made it through. You did have the strength to get through that struggle.
The second meaning and one that lines up with the martial arts is, we get Stronger because we go through Struggles. As a matter of fact, we CAN’T get stronger without resistance, without something to struggle against.
If I want to make my body stronger, I must find something to push against. For instance, a floor to do a push up against. If I’m standing in the middle of a room pushing against the air, my body is not getting stronger. There isn’t anything in opposition to my arms. There isn’t anything for me to struggle against.
I have to get down on the floor and push against it. The floor and my bodyweight work together to give me something to struggle against which in turn creates more strength in my body.
The same is true for events in our life that are a struggle to get through. Those events are what give us an opportunity to get stronger on the inside.
When my son Josh was hurt in the hit-and-run with two semi-trucks, it created all kinds of opportunities for me to get stronger.
The struggle of dealing with both a life-threatening and ultimately life-altering event made it possible for me to have to dig deeper than I ever had to in my life. I had to develop a stronger Faith in order to keep going with everything that was required of me and Joshua. I developed more patience and new perspectives of understanding that have made me a stronger person.
I had to come to terms with the idea that I can’t control everything in my life which made me stronger. A new level of compassion was required for my son but also for myself and others in this world has ultimately made stronger as well.
I have a deeper level of perseverance now and can endure (which is another type of strength) difficult things if I must. All of this is as a result of the struggle, that ended up in my life.
It wasn’t easy and I’m not going to pretend that it was. I didn’t enjoy going through it. It was hard. But I do enjoy the strength that I gained from it. Without the struggle, I couldn’t have gotten stronger.
What about your own life? What have you gone through that has made you a stronger person? A better student, employee or boss. What are the challenges in your life, the struggles you have gone through that have made you stronger as a husband, wife, father or mother? That’s right. You have all kinds of examples of how much stronger you are because of the struggles you had to figure out.
So let me tie it all together.
1 – We all have the strength to get through any struggle in our life even if we don’t believe it.
2 – We all can gain new levels of strength because of the struggles we go through in life.
Pretty impressed with yourself now? You should be! You’ve been getting stronger and showing strength your whole life.
I hope that helps. Thanks again for listening and remember, if you want any coaching to reach out at markgoblowsky.com. Let’s get you unstuck and moving again.
Addiction, no matter what substance or activity it is too, has the chance of taking over our lives. It’s a complicated issue that has played the part in many a broken home, relationship and life. My own family had its share of addictions to various substances or activities.
Addiction happens so slowly and feels so harmless in the beginning that we don’t notice what is happening. We are simply enjoying ourselves. Before we know it, we feel like we can’t live without it.
It’s a good thing there are people to show us the way out. Our guest this week, Roscoe is one of those people. I’m proud to know him and to help you get to know him as well. Click here and take a listen.
Nick Morgan is a coach, writer, and speaker. He was a public speechwriter for a governor and eventually started his own business. A series of events led him to the public speaking world. Nick had an experience with his father at age 17 that inspired him to ask what it was about communication that you could receive a lifetime of secrets at a glance. At 17, Nick was also in a tobogganing accident and was in a coma after flatlining for 15 minutes. This experience changed him. He could no longer assess the mood of familiar people. It took a year of studying body language to understand how to read people again.
In this episode, Mark and Nick discuss the conscious mind vs subconscious mind. They talk about what Nick has learned from being technically dead for 15 minutes. They also discuss our job in this life: not to judge other people, but to love other people.
David Henzel was always the “problem child.” Growing up he went to 14 different schools, smoked cigarettes and weed, and saw his fair share of struggle, including losing his father when David was only 12. He found entrepreneurship, moved to the US, founded (and then sold) MaxCDN, and has since moved back to Europe. The story only begins there.
In this episode, David and Mark discuss that trying is the most inefficient way to NOT do something. Like Yoda, do or do not, there is no try. David reminds listeners what his father always said: if you have to yell, your argument is too weak. They discuss guilt and shame, serenity and gratitude, and doing things out of love vs out of fear.
Remember: If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Dan Millman is a former world champion athlete, university coach, martial arts instructor, and college professor. He has written 17 books along the way.
In this episode, Dan and Mark discuss becoming the best version of ourselves. Dan reminds listeners that effort IS success, and happiness or success is progress toward a meaningful goal. They also discuss how all we can do is learn to surf the waves of life, how stress happens when the mind resists what is, and the importance of motion on your path.
John Lex Robinson describes himself as a man of God and a son of God, though he is also an IT professional and family man. He has had a recent resurgence in faith which restored his energy. Lex explains how he did all things “right” (as he thought), but life still crashed down. He got divorced and ran out of energy and motivation. Lex reminds listeners that from rock bottom, there are two ways out - with God, or pressure on those around you.
During this episode, Lex and Mark discuss being a man, relationships with God and yourself, faith, and God.
Sherrie Dunlevy is an author, speaker, and business owner. Earlier in her life she was a TV newscaster and radio talkshow host. Sherrie lost her son when he was just 29 days old. This was a pivot point in her life that ultimately led to her leaving broadcasting and starting anew.
In this episode, Mark and Sherrie discuss trying to inject positivity into the world. They talk about the vulnerability of writing a book, helping people through difficult times, listening to the voice within, and the power of a card. Listeners are reminded of this simple truth: You can never go wrong doing the right thing.
Michael Marcial is an online course coach and consultant who has risen greatly in the last few years. Michael grew up very self sufficient and found success as a high end consultant. He identified himself by his lifestyle. Then everything changed. He went through a divorce, lost his family, his identity, his purpose. Michael found himself living out of his car. His life turned around when he got real with himself. In this episode, Mark and Michael talk about personal growth, choice, and being real and authentic with ourselves.
US Navy SEAL Retired Thomas Shea became a SEAL upon failure at West Point, a moment which altered the course of his life. Highlights of his Navy career include graduating SEAL training, surviving his first combat tour, and becoming a SEAL instructor.
In this episode, Mark and Thom discuss the shift from military life to civilian life. In Shea's words, he was floundering until he realized civilian life was combat.
Mark and Thom also discuss the importance of spirituality, health, and positive relationships in the life of a Seal and the life of a businessman
Company http://adamantinealliance.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Unbreakable-Navy-SEALs-Way-Life/dp/0316306517
Unbreakable lessons: http://adamantinealliance.com/unbreakable-lessons/
Erik Weihenmeyer is a rock climber.
In 2008 he climbed Carstensz Pyramid on the island of Papua New Guinea, completing the Seven Summits, the highest point on every continent. This accomplishment closed the circuit on a 13-year journey that had begun with his 1995 ascent of Denali. He is joined by a select company of only 150 mountaineers to have accomplished the feat.
He is also blind.
In this episode, Mark chats with Erik about No Barriers - a movement started in part by Erik. They discuss how energy is behind every moment of adversity. Erik reminds listeners to surround yourself with a great team, to keep your heart open, and to be a climber, not a camper.
Megan Peterson is the founder of 2nd Chance Counseling Service - a unique platform connecting addicts with therapists, resources, and help in a quick and easy way. The goal of their service is to get help to people when they need it and when it's convenient for them.
In this unique episode, Mark and Megan discuss the science behind addiction and the strength of addicts. They discuss the importance of not giving up on an addict, and how to approach addiction in those you love.
Dan Martell is a father, husband, entrepreneur, teacher, and community builder. He grew up in a challenging environment, with an alcoholic mother, salesman father, and an early ADHD diagnosis. Dan was put into foster care at age 12 and his life spiraled out of control from there. He got into trouble with the law, got into drugs, and wound up stealing a car in a high-speed chase. His moment of change came from a prison guard who gave him words of encouragement for the first time in his life. That moment turned his life around.
In this episode, Mark and Dan talk about having a 5 year plan, and the three things needed to improve your life:
Tony Grebmeier is a successful entrepreneur who grew up with some serious struggle. He was molested by his dad, he felt serious shame surrounding his parent's divorce, and he even describes an incident where he accidentally blinded his friend.The struggles of his childhood carried on into adulthood. Tony got caught up in addiction. (During this episode, Tony describes his "addictive personality" in incredibly concise terms.) He contemplated suicide. And yet he overcame.
In this episode, Mark and Tony talk about the difference between a human being and a human doing. They discuss how the past only has the power you give it. They discuss asking questions, explaining that asking is not a sign of weakness - it’s a sign of greatness. Tony boldly states: "If you can change your behavior, you can change your life."
Jaret Grossman is a serial entrepreneur and coach. His life is a result of personal transformation. He was bullied and picked on as a kid. He realized he had control over his life and made the effort to change and transform himself into the person he wanted to be. In this episode, Mark and Jaret discuss helping people, helping yourself, and taking control over your life.
Mike and Karen Valentine had a great life. They called them their “salad” years. Their life dramatically changed when their second son was born with the cord around his neck and an Apgar score of 0. After a miraculous resuscitation in the hospital, they went home with a baby who doctors said was normal. When their son wasn't quite 2, he had a seizure. Doctors couldn't figure out what was going on. A diagnosis was finally given months later, after a grand mal seizure. Suddenly their life was filled with fear and a hyper awareness to mundane things like eating and pooping.
In this episode, Mike, Karen, and Mark talk about teaching an older sibling to deal with the same thing adults can’t even deal with. They chat about using Facebook as a highlight reel (Just because I have a happy face doesn’t mean it’s gone), and they dig deep into the effect epilepsy has had on their relationship.
Ernie Svenson grew up in New Orleans, Louisiana. His parents divorced when he was young, and he quickly found himself a pawn in his parents' custody battle. His dad was a psychoanalyst who manipulated Ernie to achieve selfish desires. Ernie knew he was being manipulated, but had little wiggle room to react due to his age.
In this episode, Mark and Ernie talk about the challenges of being a litigation attorney, the importance of having a good relationship with your therapist, and how the thing that makes us as humans really happy is helping other people.
Mary Hyatt is a life coach and entrepreneur who struggled with many trials in her 20s. She was married at age 20 and, a few short years later, found herself completely disconnected from life. Battling depression and anxiety, Mary found solace in food. She was overweight and unhappy and realized something needed to change. She took herself to "self-discovery school" - a personal journey of transformation and healing. She read book after book, attended workshops, went through therapy and coaching, all to discover who she really was on the inside. In this episode, Mark and Mary talk about the danger of trepidation and the power of facing the fear of trying something new.
Cara Brookins has led an interesting life. She was married to her high school sweetheart right out of high school, but the marriage didn’t last long. She and her first husband divorced after 3 kids. Cara remarried at age 24. Her husband descended into full blown schizophrenia and became a danger to her and her children. They divorced, but he still came around and terrorized her and children. Her third husband was very strong, which seemed like the right answer at the time. However, he became abusive and Cara found herself the victim of domestic violence. They also divorced.
After all the trauma, she decided she and her kids needed something huge to swing their life in a different direction. So they decided the only logical thing to do was build a house. It was the first time they had physical control over anything in their lives. They learned everything they needed to know from YouTube, inspectors, and employees at the local Lowes and Home Depot.
In this episode, Mark and Cara unpack the intense few years that led up to such a revolutionary life change. Cara reminds listeners that you can choose how to use the awful things that happen to you. She reminds us to take the hard path if it will lead you somewhere great.
Saud Juman is a CEO, husband, and father. He grew up in a strong family, but associated with the wrong crowd. While in college, he found success as a DJ. This led to work as a promoter, and eventually owning his own venue. He inadvertently became involved with (and subsequently protected by) members of organized crime. He had a moment of change when his father reentered his life. He sat in a mosque overnight, night after night, and eventually came to realize who he was and who he wanted to become. In this episode, Mark and Suad also discuss religious differences and the impact one person can have on their world.
Justin Bailey grew up in a loving home, went to college, met his wife, got married, and joined the army. Everything seemed like it should be great on the surface, but he quickly learned he wasn’t living up to the person he could have been. The person he was nearly broke down his marriage, encountered legal problems, and ultimately was a result of serious character issues. In this episode, Mark and Justin discuss vulnerability, integrity, and the importance of realizing (and owning) consequences of your actions.
Chris Biasutti has searched for acceptance his entire life. Everything he’s done in his life has been searching for love and acceptance from other people. He thought he would find it by making money. Eventually, after making the money he thought he always wanted, he learned money didn’t bring him acceptance. His pivot point came when he realized he had nothing meaningful to share with the world. Chris has since learned the key to his happiness and inner peace is vulnerability - and being honest about sharing his pain. What motivates him now, and what drives him, is lessening others’ suffering. He’s learned, above all, love isn’t something you get, it’s something you give.
Master McNeill has seen his fair share of struggle in his 75+ years on the planet. He's had polio, was orphaned as a young child, and has battled cancer more than once. However, every struggle in his life has led him to where he is today. Master McNeill is a highly decorated martial artist.
In this episode, Mark and Dave discuss happiness, the power of a positive attitude, and the belief that there are no coincidences. Above all is this reminder: Persevere against a negative world with positive thoughts, positive actions, and a positive attitude.
Tucker Collins is an neurochemistry undergraduate student on the verge of graduation. He's looking towards what life holds for him - starting with graduate school. He's making a name for himself - creating his own identity, part of which is his Aspergers. Tucker doesn't let his diagnosis define him - he embraces who he is and uses his strengths to his advantage. He seeks out relationships, and encourages others to do the same.